if you hear scary music, do NOT go into the abandoned house.
always carry a gun, a knife, a cross and a cell phone (which won't work, but you can take some cool photos)
if you go into an abandoned house with scary music (not advised), basements and attics are to be avoided
when the music gets louder or suddenly quits, something is going to jump at you
calling out to your friend who went silent is stupid...look for the exit
shoot zombies, mummies and other undead in the knees. you can't kill them but if you break the bone, they will have to crawl towards you
mummies are SLOW...duck under and saunter away
vampires are really strong and fast. you cannot beat them physically. Claim that you are HIV positive and use the moment of indecision to run into the nearest brightly lit garlic patch
your gun should be a revolver, dutch loaded with silver bullets and wooden bullets and they should all have crosses scratched on them as well as being dipped in garlic juice
if you are with someone who screams a lot, kneecap them for being annoying.
do NOT shoot ghosts. save your ammo, they are scary but rarely dangerous
if a guy jumps out of a closet who can instantly start his chainsaw..please get the name of his mechanic. It takes me 20 minutes to start mine.
hockey goalie masks, while useful for stopping pucks will NOT stop a decent defensive round
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